We often spend our time celebrating the “aha!” moments and the career-climbing successes that come from great mentorship. But there is a quieter, more destructive side to these professional relationships that we don’t discuss enough: the impact of a mentee’s silence. Over the past couple months, I have had a few prospective mentees reach out to schedule an introduction meeting to discuss educational and professional goals. There have been some who followed up, and we have a plan in place, but there have been several who scheduled meetings, then disappeared.
In the fast-paced world of leadership, your reputation often precedes you. While a good mentor can open doors, a lack of professional etiquette can weld them shut before you even walk through.
The cost of the “ghost”
When a mentee reaches out to a prospective mentor asking for their time, wisdom, and network, and then fails to follow up or, worse, misses a scheduled meeting without communication, it isn’t just a “missed connection.” It’s a withdrawal from your professional bank account.
Here is what happens on the other side of that silence:
- The disrespected resource: Mentors are often senior leaders juggling tight schedules. When you “ghost” a meeting, you aren’t just missing a chat; you are telling that leader that your time is more valuable than theirs.
- The shrinking network: In tight-knit sectors like the food and ag industry, everyone knows everyone. A mentor you disrespected today might be the hiring manager at your dream company tomorrow.
- The loss of advocacy: A mentor’s greatest gift is their willingness to vouch for you. Once you demonstrate a lack of accountability, that mentor will no longer feel comfortable putting their reputation on the line for you.
Why relationships are currency
In our industry, we deal with long lead times, seasonal cycles, and deep-rooted trust. Whether you are in the field, the lab, or the boardroom, relationships matter. The Food and Ag world functions on a “handshake” culture. If you develop a reputation for being unreliable early in your career, that “bridge-burning” stays with you. People remember who showed up, but they remember even more vividly who didn’t.
The reality check: You are not just representing yourself; you are representing your potential. A missed email might feel small to you, but it signals a lack of readiness for higher responsibility to them.
Three rules for young leaders
To keep your professional bridges sturdy, commit to these three non-negotiables:
- The 24-hour rule: If you reach out to someone and they respond, acknowledge it within 24 hours, even if it’s just to say, “Thank you, I’m checking my calendar and will get back to you by Friday.”
- Over-communicate early: Life happens. If you cannot make a meeting, send a note as soon as you know. A “heads-up” text two hours before is a mistake; a “no-show” with no explanation is a choice.
- The “close the loop” habit: If a mentor gives you advice or a lead, follow up later to tell them the outcome. Mentors don’t just want to help; they want to see that their investment has grown.
Accountability is the currency of leadership. Before you ask for a seat at the table, make sure you’re the kind of person people want to sit across from.
With gratitude,
Stephon D. Fitzpatrick, Ph.D.
Executive Director, Together We Grow
This message was included in Together We Grow’s May 2026 newsletter. Subscribe to the monthly newsletter.





